The 2020 global pandemic has brought a wave of disaster and difficulty for much of the world, and has stretched the role of motherhood to new lengths of expectations and even greater depths of exhaustion for many moms. Yet, through it all, I have already seen God bring much good out of this season in my heart and home.
Now, more than ever, I am glad to be a mom. Though being stuck mostly inside 24/7 with my kids (who have literally been bouncing off the walls) for nearly 60 days, attempting to homeschool and continue teaching online piano lessons, and cook and clean and keep up with getting groceries (a process which now takes 10x longer) has nearly driven me insane...now, more than ever, I am glad to be a mom.
I realized that much of my struggle with motherhood in the past has not been because I did not enjoy being a mom - but that I was utterly exhausted and utterly overwhelmed. For years. This quarantine came at a time when I was burnt out and at a breaking point - physically, emotionally, mentally - took me PAST that breaking point, and has forced me to face my weakness, brokenness and pursue rest and healing as my top priority. I can't pour out of an empty cup - or a shattered one - though I have tried for so long.
This crisis became a blessing in that it gave our family what we most needed: time together. Time to play together, time to laugh together, time to cry and work through fights together, time to recognize struggles and seek help together, time to work together and serve together, time to learn to live together and love each other. Time to *enjoy* one another. In fact, we haven't had ENOUGH time to do all those things! (Come on, summer!)
I love being a mom. It is unbelievably hard and exhausting, but oh-so-rich.
I love my kids deeply. They are precious and bring me immeasurable joy.
And I love my mom, more than ever.
My mom came for a Spring Break visit right as everything closed down...and then she stayed. And she stayed for nearly 2 months!! It was an incredible gift and blessing to have her here with us.
Mom, you saw me in all my broken mess and vulnerability and loved me deeply. You encouraged me daily, validated my many struggles, spoke truth against the lies, and shared your wisdom to help me see a way forward. You loved on your grandchildren with firm boundaries and grace and delight, and you loved on me with an ever listening ear and tenderness and lots of hugs. And you WORKED. SO. HARD. so that I could make time to rest. You saw my greatest needs and you poured out yourself to care for me. You are an angel of mercy heaven sent for such a time as this. You are Christ's hands and feet and heart lived out in my life. And I needed you now just as much as I did when I was the little one snuggled in your lap.
Thank you, Mom, for being YOU. You are an amazing woman of God and a most wonderful mother. You are gracious and generous, compassionate, caring and wise. You love fiercely yet tenderly. You are beautiful on the inside and out. You are my truest and closest friend. Thank you for all the years and all the ways you have loved me well. I admire you, and I hope to be more like you when I grow up. I love you more than words can say!
Here are snapshots of our many sweet memories and adventures during our "quarantine with Lola":
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