Life Lessons from "Q": Learning to Love in Deed and in Truth

"Now, why do you think I need that?"

Her response stunned me. I kept my arm extended with a measly $5 and stammered, "Umm...because I see you out here every day, sitting under this same tree, and it looks like you need it more than I do."

"Well, maybe you should ask next time what it is that I need. I don't need no hand outs. Who's to say that I can't come out here and sit in this chair under this lovely tree if I want to? And in this chair - it is like a throne! But I do sell my work. Would you like to buy a painting?"



"Oh! I didn't realize that you painted out here."

"You see, I work for my dignity and I earn my keep. Some people stop and look and buy something, some people don't buy anything. I also do bracelets and t-shirts - and you can personally order whatever you would like."

I stood there as she showed me her artwork with pride.

"It's all oil paint, honey."

I listened to her tell me part of her life story, how she trained to be a massage therapist and was interested in natural medicine. I listened to her talk about God and how the Spirit communicates with her and inspires her paintings. I listened to her hint about a fire and losing everything. But most of all, I listened. It was very difficult for me to do so - my mind was constantly reminding me, Okay, you need to leave now. You have so much to do and so little time.

But the echo of a quote that a friend posted earlier this week kept me standing still -

"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity."

~ Simone Weil

"You know, all that five-dolla goin' to do is keep me here in this chair - sit and eat, sit and eat, sit and eat. What's goin' to get me somewhere? What are you goin' to do that will actually help to change my situation? You know, people look at me and say, 'Oh, you need to get on your feet. We'll help you walk forward.' But they don't know where I've come from. I'm just happy to be here! I've survived!"

Dumbfounded I stood there, nodding in agreement with the wise words she was speaking and challenged by her convicting questions.

"They call me 'Q,'" she said when I asked her name.

"Alright, 'Q'. Thank you for talking with me. I will be back to see you."

"Thank you, Larissa. Listening to me talk did more than five-dolla ever would have done. Thank you."
 
...

This conversation resulted from my reading through 1st John the night before. The words in chapter 2 verse 17 -18 convicted me to the core:

But if anyone has the world's goods

 and sees his brother in need, 

yet closes his heart against him, 

how does God's love abide in him? 

 Little children, let us not love in word or talk

 but in deed and in truth.

The Holy Spirit was hammering on my heart, "Hellllooooo?" (Because I'm a little dense at times) "Remember your Dad who has been without power and water for two weeks? You should do something about that. You know, besides just praying." Which is why, at 6:00 the next morning, I was out shopping at Walgreens to get supplies for a care package and ran into "Q." I got $5 extra cash at the check out expecting to hand it to her, say, "God Bless" and be on my way. God seemed to have a much deeper, richer experience in store.

All too often I let myself become consumed in the busyness of my own life (which, don't get me wrong, is very busy with two kids and a hard-working hubby!). I get into survival mode and focus only inward, with blinders on around my eyes that prevent me from seeing the deep needs of my own family and the strangers that I walk by day after day. And when I do reach out to help, it is often in a way that is still very convenient or feasible for me. In the last post, I wrote about how I asked the Lord to make me more hospitable - and it is amazing to see how He is continuing to do that in teaching me to be generous with my possessions (even though I don't feel like I have much) and even more generous with my attention (which is the most difficult of all). 

I went back to Walgreens later that day to pick up some pictures. I introduced my kids to "Q" and spent a little more time talking with her in the 100 degree Texas summer heat. I asked if I could buy her something - she refused. But she offered to paint a couple pictures for my kids for us to come get another time. What a sweet, strong, wise, resilient woman. I have much to learn from her, and I hope to find ways that I can truly help her as well. A gift of blank canvases, perhaps?

...

And now, for an update on the fam:

Daddy started school! 

He wouldn't let me take a "first-day-of-school" picture,

so Zoë dressed up to support him on his first day of class.

 

Isaiah is almost 16 months old!! 

He is basically running and saying new words every day.

His favorite are "(t)'ruck" "choo-choo" "puppy" and "mommee!"

Here he is in daddy's old "Zacker Bud" shirt

Zoë started ballet and tap and LOVES it!

Miss Amanda is great. ;)

She also started soccer! First practice was tonight.

And...big girl moved up to an even bigger bike,
thanks to Cousin Brady

Rockin' the 16"

We are enjoying the last few days of summer (as much as possible with the heat!). Soon little Miss Zoë will be heading off to PreK - and then the year will *officially* begin.

Until next time,

The Poppens