Five Poppens & a PhD: Month 6: Three S's of Parenting

Isaiah has been alive for 6 months.
We've been in Texas for 3 months
How does life go by so quickly?!

During these three months of returning to being a full-time-mom, God has been teaching me a great deal about parenting. I found myself getting overwhelmed and stressed out when reading parenting books. Every book was a different method and more and more things I needed to know and implement - but which way was the best way? Could I combine them? And when I would figure something out that worked, someone would tell me about another method or philosophy and I would wonder - what if that would be better? Not to mention - who has time to read all these books?!

So, I stopped reading parenting books. And decided to read more of the Bible.

James 1:5 helped the light bulb go off in my head: "If anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault." I need wisdom to know how to best parent my children, and God has it! God, our Father, knows ALL about parenting, and He is eager to share that wisdom with us. (**Please note - I'm not saying that parenting books are bad or unhelpful. It was just too much for me to have so many different and often conflicting voices in my head. I needed to hear it from one source.)

Suddenly, everything I read or heard at church or Bible study, or sung while listening to the radio, or woke up thinking in the middle of the night was teaching me about parenting. And, knowing that my memory is poor, the Holy Spirit helped me compile it all fall into three categories all conveniently beginning with the letter "S." I share these with you not to say, "Here is another method!!" or imply that I am now a perfect parent...no, not at all. I share in hope that what I am learning may encouarage or help others, and most importantly, as a testimony to the active work of God in my life through the Holy Spirit, speaking, teaching, encouraging, counseling and guiding.

Say "Yes"
Show Love
Slow & Simple

Say "Yes"
be available
be present

"No's" are necessary for teaching boundaries for protection and health. Little ones need to hear and obey "No" so that they learn to respect our authority first - in hopes that they will be good citizens and most importantly, learn to live under the authority of God.

But they also need to hear "Yes." Yes, I can come have a tea party with you, even though I need to do housework. Yes, we can go outside, even though I am tired. Yes, I can sing that song for the tenth time in a row. Yes, you can wear that outfit you picked out yourself even though I don't think it matches. Yes, I will build a castle fort with you and venture into your imaginary world. Yes, I will let you help me with dinner, even though it will take twice as long.

Yes, I will hold you a little longer; Yes, I will comfort you in the middle of the night; Yes, I will take time to smile at you and tickle you and make you giggle even though I am exhausted and thinking about the long list of things that need to get done.

I never want to be too busy either physically or mentally to miss out on the beauty of having true relationship with my children. When it doesn't hurt anything or anyone, when it is just maybe a little inconvenient or awkward, when the only reason I might say "no" is more because of my own selfishness and wacked-out priorities, I can say YES.

Show Love
love ferociously
lovingly confront and cover with grace
be controlled and compelled by love
elicit love and not fear

It is easy to show love when I do say "yes," but when I have to say "no" and discipline disobedience, I still need to show love. Why?
Because God, the perfect parent, is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and when God does get angry, He expresses His anger in love.
Because perfect love casts out fear, and love alone can drive out hate, while disciplining out of anger only produces fear and leads to enmity.
Because the authority that I have been given over my children is to reflect the authority of the King, whose kingdom is grace and reign is love.

What does this look like? I don't really know yet. Maybe it looks like second chances, time-outs for me to check my heart and time-ins for us to find the root of the issue, hugs instead of yelling, building up instead of tearing down, lots of apologies and forgiveness, learning to forget so that past behavior doesn't determine or influence current treatment, and asking God to help me to love my enemies so that when battles emerge and insults bring pain, I can choose love.

Slow & Simple
enjoy
treasure
savor
listen
watch

peace.

It is a busy world we live in. Everyone is running around with full plates and full days. I've had my share of busy, and now I just get overwhelmed watching other families rush here and there and fill up their calendars to the brim.

But I can't really say "yes" when my schedule is so full that I am sprinting from one thing to the next with kids in tow. And I can't really show love when I am so exhausted and in a hurry that my fuse is so short I explode and I don't have time to deal with the heart.

So I am doing my best to keep our lives slow and simple. To have just enough activity to keep us engaged, but not so much that we can still take our time getting places and have the freedom to stop to pick up acorns or be available to help out a neighbor in a pinch. To give Zoë plenty of unorganized playtime to foster her incredible imagination and develop her many talents - songwriting, architecture design, painting, fashion and dramatic role playing. To get to know our neighbors and learn to be good neighbors. To have time to listen and watch my children play together. To have time as a family.

I'm loving this season of growth and learning to walk out motherhood by God's design. I am so thankful for this time I have to be home with my beautiful, crazy, wonderful kids. Now onto more about them!

Isaiah
We are so proud of our 6-month-old! Isaiah has already outgrown his 6-month clothes and is filling out the 9-month ones (and some 12-month pants!). He is living up to his nickname as Mr. Smiley, and is (usually) full of giggles and ready with a sweet smile when you catch his eye.

Isaiah is just starting to get the hang of sitting on his own, is busy trying out new sounds and levels of volume, and is working on perfecting his hand-eye coordination. Those hands are always moving and grabbing! And if you look really closely at his pictures, you will see two little bottom teeth just starting to poke through.

Never thought a skeleton could look so cute

First time in a swing!

Zoë
Zoë is blossoming in her many talents - songwriting, drawing/painting, dancing, storytelling - and is a great helper cooking in the kitchen, folding laundry and helping taking care of baby brother. In her best moments, she is sweet, thoughtful, caring, kind, and very concerned about the wellbeing of others.