Five Poppens & a PhD: Month 5: Life Inside a PhD Program

There's a familiar axiom about academia that bears repeating here:

-You get a Bachelor's degree when you think you know everything.

-You get a Master's degree when you realize you don't know anything.

-You get a PhD when you realize you don't know anything and neither does anyone else.

Now, people who hold advanced degrees certainly know something about their field of study; however, all honest scholars recognize the vast body of knowledge in their own field, an insurmountable collection of learning that can never be acquired by one person (to say nothing of the other insurmountable collections in other disciplines).

I started this post with the axiom because it is an apt representation of my experience here for the first few weeks of my PhD program. As wonderful and life-giving as study is to me, it is a humbling, exhausting pursuit. It is also quite lonely (even with a family to come home to each night). There is so much to read, so much to hold in mind while reading, and so much to prepare for as I look to the future. My PhD experience is at once both full of elation and frustration. But as a wise friend here has said: "Everything is a process. The PhD process is no different. Take it one day, one book, one thought at a time." So that's what I've been trying to do - take my studies and progress one step at a time.

For this semester, I'm taking two courses (seminars) - Exegesis of the Hebrew Bible (Exodus) and Contemporary Issues in Hermeneutics (which is the study of interpretation). I only chose two courses this first semester because I wanted to get acclimated to the academic environment here, to do well in what I endeavored to do, and to not overwhelm my schedule as soon as I began this program. Over the next couple of years, I will be taking three to four courses/seminars so that I will finish coursework in 2.5 years from the start of my program.

The professors here are wonderful. The entire faculty promotes a "non-competitive" environment, advocating for collegial relationships and encouraging us to form alliances during our study rather than attempt to engage in some sort of "survival of the fittest" contest. I have come to deeply appreciate this characteristic of Brite. While I was applying to PhD programs, many seemed to promote exactly what Brite has tried to eradicate: an environment of competition. This is not to say that Brite is satisfied with mediocre scholarship. I feel that I am compelled to do my very best here. The difference is that I am in competition with myself and not my colleagues. I have already begun to make some meaningful connections and friendships. I hope that these relationships become lifelong as I already value their willingness to dialogue and discuss our respective research trajectories.

I'll end this post with a funny conversation I had about a week ago...

I normally study in the afternoons and then again after dinner. This means I'm usually at school from 8:00am until about 5:00pm, and then from 7pm to about 9:30-10:00pm most days. I probably don't need to be studying that long every night, but as I said above, I feel like I need to do well and so I take extra time going over my Hebrew and Greek, making sure I've read everything I can, etc. One night (around 9:00pm or so), I was leaving the building and I happened to bump into a professor who I have only briefly interacted with since coming to Brite (he doesn't teach anything in my areas of interest). Here was the conversation:

Professor: "Hope we (referring to the student with him) didn't bother you up there (referring up to the conference room where I usually study)..."

Me: "Oh, no - not at all. Couldn't hear you."

I then turned to walk out the door when he continued: "How's it going?"

Me, slightly confused: "...you mean tonight? It's going well, I suppose."

Professor: "Well, keep at it. You (presumably referring to my being in the conference room day and night) came up at the faculty meeting. We're all rootin' for you."

Me, still slightly confused: "Oh, well - thank you."

And then I left.

I was slightly knocked off balance by the conversation. First, I wasn't aware that people knew I was studying so much. It does go without saying that a PhD student studies all the time - but I didn't envision professors keeping tabs on how much I studied. Second, I didn't think that such activity would be mentioned at a faculty meeting. Third, a professor who barely knows me felt like he needed to encourage me in my studies. After I processed the conversation a little further, I have come to appreciate the care, attention, and investment that the staff and faculty have in their students. This isn't an institution where PhD students are bereft of support. A statement from orientation bears heavily on this sentiment:

"The donors who gave money for your scholarships could have easily given to organizations around the world that clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and care for the sick, oppressed, and enslaved. So why did they give their money to you instead of to Scripture-sanctioned needs? Because we see in you the gifts that, if cultivated, will far surpass the simple giving of money to needs. By investing in you all, we believe that you will be part of the transformation of lives around the world, helping to end things like hunger, trafficking, injustice, slavery, and all kinds of evil."

This is where I need to be right now, and I know that I will emerge from this program with the tools I need to participate in that "world-transforming" scholarship and advocacy.

But this post isn't all about me. Check out the pictures below to see what we've been up to!