But God...

Whining.
My kids are really good at it. It drives me up the wall.
The annoying tone! The ingratitude! The entitlement! The self-absorption!

But you know what?

They have a really good teacher.
I am the whiniest of whiners. I throw pretty impressive pity parties. I get stuck in grumble-ruts. And I can get sucked into self-absorption, thinking more of myself and my problems than anything or anyone else.

I've been in a grumble-rut for awhile and I am in definite need of an attitude adjustment. A pivot of perspective.

A few weeks ago I was strongly convicted by a quote from our BSF Teaching Leader: "Our battles reveal our neediness and weaknesses AND show off God's power."

Seems obvious, right? Simple, even.

The realization that hit me like a ton of bricks was that I was getting trapped in a cycle of wallowing in my weakness and forgetting about the second half, stopping short of pointing to God's power. Not that God was not active (God was!) or that I minimized God's power - I was just too focused in on the struggle and not paying attention to what God was doing. I would share my struggles with others and complain and grumble about how.hard.life.is, but it would often stop there - with me and my troubles. I was stuck looking inward and missing out on the opportunities to make much of God in the midst of my circumstances.

I am encouraged by this quote from our study of the book of Joshua : "Are you in the midst of a hard season of life? Steep yourself in the attributes of God. As you pray through the 'lens' of God's character, God will transform your perspective on your problems." (BSF notes, Joshua, Lesson 2)

It is ok to talk about the struggle. It is good, actually, to process through our problems. We need to know our weakness and be very aware of our neediness to recognize the greatness of God's power - for God's "power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) But it can't stop there. The next step is essential. The next step is to turn our eyes away from our struggle and fix them on Jesus as we follow him into and through the storm. Our focus is not on the trouble but on God's presence and power at work in our midst - and that results not in whining or grumbling but in PRAISE!

(I am preaching to myself here.)

So, when I find myself wrapped up in my woes, I want to remember to transition from my problems to praise of God's power with a big "BUT GOD:"

I have an almost 11-month-old baby girl who still sleeps like a newborn. Sometimes worse than a poorly sleeping newborn. I love her very much, but I am existing on fumes and caffeine and suffering from months upon months of sleep deprivation. My body is weary and my mind is barely functioning. BUT GOD has been gracious and faithful to sustain me every single day. Like manna from heaven, God has given me just enough strength and love and grace each day to keep me going and yet to keep me dependent on Him. God is so good.

The cute-factor sure helps, though ;)

The past two months have been financially stressful and tight. We had a couple major expenses and at the same time our electric bill was over double what it normally is, we had already blown through our grocery budget, and I had most of my piano lessons cancel in a week's time (for fall break etc. - understandable, just bad timing for us). We had a couple weeks of holding our breath, eating tuna and rice, and trying not to spend a penny. BUT GOD is gracious and generous in providing for our every need through our generous family who cushioned and covered us so we could stay afloat. We are so grateful and incredibly blessed. God is so good.

Earlier this month we had a lot of rain and humid weather which produced the perfect climate for exponential mold growth. I discovered excessive mold growing on many things in our outdoor shed -  including our big double stroller and umbrella stroller - and had to throw much of it out. Ugh. BUT GOD is gracious and generous in providing for our needs through people who love us and care for us! Thanks to hand-me-downs hiding in a storage unit from Zac's generous relatives, we have two strollers (a double and a single) that are nicer than our originals! God is so good.

We have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and general "overwhelmedness" in our home that expresses itself in a variety of ways: Zac with papers and proposals, me with the household, both with the kids (whom we love, but we feel like we live in a zoo somedays), Zoë with issues at school, and Isaiah with...being 4. BUT GOD gives us new mercies every morning and graciously gives us little bits of wisdom and understanding to help us understand and manage these things in a healthy (or at least healthier) way, and keeps pointing us back to Himself as our calm in the midst of chaos, our peace that drives out anxiety, and the place where we can run in prayer with our cares and burdens.

Lord, You are faithful, gracious, generous and good beyond measure. Thank you for providing for and sustaining me and my family. Help me to intentionally remember what You have done and be actively aware of what You are doing. Help me to respond to my struggles with gratitude and praise of Your Name. Help me to make much of You as I point to You and Your power instead of me and my problems. And I pray that by Your grace, I may teach and model this to my children.
And Lord, please help them to stop their whining too.

Amen.

A general family update:

This sweet spit-fire turned 10 months old at the beginning of the month. She is constantly on the go, talking up a storm, exploring the house, following her big siblings around, watching the outside world through the windows and trying to escape. :) She has a fun sense of humor and loves to laugh! Isabelle also loves her big sister more than anything. They have formed a precious bond already.

Playing piano with Zoë

Isaiah is loving PreK and Museum School and on the other days wants to hang at home playing legos with Mommy (but sometimes we make a break for the zoo or Museum or a park...because sometimes even a Mommy can get tired of playing legos.) He is really into going on bike rides and we have tried to make it a regular family event. We pet-sit a guinea pig named Cookie and Isaiah fell in love -  "Someday when I grow up and I am a teenager, I am going to buy my own pet guinea pig and name it Cookie."

Isabelle loved Cookie as well!

The bath tub was the best place for guinea pig holding

Reading with Auntie Judy

Zoë is very active with dance, soccer, school and reading, reading, reading. She was nominated to be a class representative for Student Council and is very excited about the meetings. :) If she is not reading, Zoë is coming up with some sort of craft or painting or drawing or writing - she has become quite the artist!

At a birthday party with Princess Elena

The Rockettes

We enjoyed a fun visit from Didi!

Zac will *hopefully* be submitting his dissertation proposal before a committee after November 1st. He has been hard at work editing and re-editing the proposal as well as writing and presenting other papers on the side. Oh, the PhD life!

That's a wrap.

Love, 

The Poppens