Five Poppens & a PhD: The Strength of My Heart

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength

of my heart and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:26

From about the time of my 32nd birthday back in September, I have had one physical issue, illness or pain after another, making the last trimester of pregnancy and the first three months of having a newborn much more difficult. Fatigue piled onto exhaustion and sleep deprivation; constant pain made it challenging to function, let alone flourish. My flesh felt as if it was failing.

Being extremely tired and overwhelmed leads to depression, weariness, discouragement. I found myself trapped in cycles of groaning negativity and grumbling. My heart was failing.

And yet, in the midst of it all, this verse of faith in God's promise played through my mind as God proved Himself faithful. God is the strength that upholds me in my weakness, sustains me through my weariness, provides for me in my neediness, endures with me through the pain, and gives me hope in His goodness and faithfulness. When I have been able to turn my mind away from focusing on the trouble and instead turning to praise God for His goodness and love and grace, my heart has been strengthened - and the trouble doesn't seem as troubling.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:29-31

Zac has also been in a season of difficulty studying for months upon months, and it is intensifying now as he pushes through the last month of studying for his qualifying exams. He has walked through discouragements and weariness and dealt with almost daily headaches, but he presses on in the strength that only God can provide. We are proud of him and his perseverance, and look forward in hope to the end of this season! We also appreciate your prayers for him and for our family.

One of the translations of Psalm 73:26 put it, "God is my strength. He is all I ever need." May God continue to strengthen both of us by His power within us and His love that sustains. May we continue to run to Him in our weakness and need, finding in God all that we need, with great hope in God's ability to provide and to do more than we can ask or imagine.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21

Our three children, though sometimes adding to the difficulty of the season, also bring us great joy. Here are pictures and videos from January and February.